Instinctively self destructive...

The Outcome of Communication

One of the tenets of NLP is that the outcome of communication is in the result that you get.

I am discovering that in certain situations when I am being less than totally magnificent in my communication the results I am getting are on the surface, pleasing, however I am aware of their placatory and transient nature, particularly within the scenario I find myself playing out on a day to day basis at this point in time.

A friend asked me recently had I ever heard of the adage of ‘trapping more flies with honey’? Of course I have, my tendency though is to either leave them alone or kill them instantly.

Thinking about it dispassionately (?) I wonder if this has as much to do with my personal coping mechanism, as it has to do with my beliefs, which are of course inextricably linked.

This is something that I have learned about sentient beings, we make connections and having made them we use them as convincers banging home the rightness of it. For the reasoning and more rational animal this is a complicated procedure – or not. It can just as easily be a knee jerk reaction to an external stimulus that provokes an emotional response, jeez would that be the birth of a strategy that would possibly be compounded by proving it again and again – compounding itself, becoming rooted in our neurology. That old survival fight or flight still crazy after all these millennia, and still so strong.

In the aftermath of an adrenaline high response attitude there is only a need to rest, conflict especially within oneself is exhausting and it can be the result of a learned behaviour, a less than totally positive behaviour at that.

I know what my friend means about the honey. For me it’s a bit like learning something new and strange and until I am able to be secure in this alien world in all my states, I am likely to slip back to swatting the flies, irrevocably and taking the hollow victory of being placated until I go away and leave them to lick their wounds and build their walls of resentment so that I become the trigger for their adrenaline response.

Eventually this too will cease and there will be no communication at all. What is the point in that?
The self-fulfilling prophecy goes around again and nothing new is learned, only re-iterated.

So, in order to rewire my neurology I have to examine those static beliefs about myself, and change them now.